well, first day of school... and it really wasn't all that terrible.
my classes seem to be okay.
i really like english, because i have some pretty amazing people in there.
but, i feel a tad bit overwhelmed. thats the only problem...
because i have a lot of hard classes,
and i'm not going to have a life at all this year.
oh, well.... i guess its all worth it.
this weekend is going to be so much fun,
and i realllly can't wait.

i'm going to try and keep a good attitude this week,
and just love people.
its the first week of school and people are aggravated and annoyed,
but maybe i can help make a bad situation better?

i don't know...

oh, how time flies by.

So I've been thinking...
There's a lot I don't know about myself.
kldfjgkldjfg
whatever, forget punctuation.
this is me, completely raw.
i don't understand how i just can't figure out the deepest of my thoughts.
i lack focus. i lack determination.
but then i look at other people, and realize that maybe i'm really not that out of focus.
annnd then i look at other other people and see how out of focus i am.
role models. i have a lot of them, and all for different reasons.
because none of them are completely perfect, but there sure are parts of their lives that are near perfect.
but that's just how God made us, perfect in some ways.
in all the other ways we need to strive to be like Him who is completely perfect.
there are so many things i want to do in my life, but that means i really have to work on those parts that aren't near perfect at all.
i'll never be near as wonderful as God... but thats okay. He doesn't ask for perfection, He just asks that we try.
when we stumble we need to get back up.
but when i stumble, i like to sit there for a little while and really examine how much that fall hurt. then i can't brush myself off as fast.
i reflect. i live in the past. i make doubt my home.
that makes it so much easier to fall again when your eyes are on the ground where you fell, because if you don't keep your head up, you can't see whats in front of you.
ahhh... i have to end this short.
but there are still sooo many more thoughts up there.

I got my phone taken away, again. At least this time I have a different outlook on the whole situation. Maybe I'll get it back soon... maybe not. I could kinda care less to be honest.
Grady is officially my "favoriteist person in the world" (and vice versa)
I have band camp... again... today... blah.
I really don't think anyone reads this blog.

Arrrriba!

I'm not always right.
I argue a lot.
I hate being wrong.
I don't think before I speak.
Its hard for me to tell people how I really feel.
I want more than I need.
I wish I could hear things clearer.
My words are empty a lot of the time.
I have too many thoughts on my mind.
I hate confrontation.
I like to hide.
I want to live.

I have come to realize that our mall has nothing.
There are about a hundred stores and I can barely find one thing that I actually kinda like.
The sad thing about it is that there is just too much, too much of nothing.
I feel like I use that with my words a lot of the time; there I use too many words but they really don't have much substance.
This is probably why I don't understand so many things and that I get caught up in too much.
Wow, a never thought a trip to the mall would make me think of this.
(Deep moment)
Anyways... in other news:
There is this one person who I just can't figure out at all and its really starting to get to me.
My body has never been so sore for such a long amount of time.
I get to sleep in tomorrow. :)
Taco Bell is sitting on the floor right next to me, but I am not hungry at all.
Life seems to just be floating on by.
My mom was telling me in the car that she was trying to think of things she remembered from her junior year and she couldn't come up with much. Great. Another year of my life is going to fly by.
Uhh... I really can't wait to curl up and read a book, because I haven't done that in a lonnng time. Well, thats about it.
OH! Only one more week of band camp left...

and
I really want to go to a concert. Bad.

i've been listening to the same sappy love song all day.

:/

well, i'm working on this whole making my blog pretty type thing.
its not really working out to the greatest.
anyways...
band camp is almost halfway over (oh joy) and my muscles are aching less.
i have to get some much overdue shots tomorrow, which i am dreading incredibly.
ugh... i really have nothing else to talk about.
i need some excitement in my life.

Its another sunday afternoon, and i'm just sitting here on the computer like usual. I think Sundays are my favorite days because i do almost nothing all day. Not to mention thats how God wanted it anyways. I think I've finally really learned why He wants us to rest on this day. We get caught up in all the other stuff we "have" to do, that we don't give ourselves time to just take a deep breath. I do that way too often. But when you have that moment where you can just clear out your thoughts, you're able to sort things out. God gave me a great day to do that. Which was today.
Chelsea gets home today, which means Jasmine gets to go home. I've kinda grown attached to this little dog. I think discipleship is going to be pretty great tonight, I'm excited.
School is in less than two weeks I believe. Blah.
Life is just flying past me. I'm going to a junior. Upperclassman. I'm not ready.
I want everything to slow down, because I just want to enjoy every minute of life.

I also want a new camera. Christmas just can't come too soon.