Expression

Thank You Lord

Well for once SPS didn't let me down :)
I've really needed a day to rest and catch up on a lot of things...
And I'm giving thanks to Jesus for giving me the opportunity.
Right now I'm going to go take a shower and wait for Lesley to get here...

:)

I'll probably go a picture takin' here in a bit....

Getting Up for a Letdown?

I hate watching the weather, it makes me too hopeful.
They say that we have a likely chance of having another ice storm which leads, of course, to no school.
The weather people really like to toy with me.
Who wants to bet that we have school tomorrow?
Which is going to be a million times more intolerable tomorrow because it will be a mess outside.
Oh, well.
If we don't have school, I definitely know how I'm going to spend my day.
Sleeping, reading, watching movies, and organizing my closet.
Sounds great to me :)

No, Thanks.

Hooray for congestion.
I am so completely lazy, but I'm tending not to care about that today.
Usually I get angry with myself for completely wasting time... Guess it's just not one of those days.
I want this semester to go by extremely fast so I can be that much closer to graduation.
At the same time I'm so tired of thinking that my life is going to start as soon as I have a diploma in my hand.... It should start now.
Yes, that sounds right.
Time to go to guard?
I believe so.

STRESS!

I hate being sick,
and I hate stress...

So how come my day wasn't a complete disaster?

Jesus.

I got my Fine Arts picture picked out and it's ready to be sent in.

Thank you Jesus for the perfect day for taking pictures and nice ladies at the Wal-Mart Photo place.

Planes and Perfection.

My father goes to my birth country tomorrow.
Oh, how I wish I could go with him just for this one time.... but I can't.
I miss Africa and I tend to miss it almost with resentment every time I see pictures of it or just hear people talking about the continent.
It's my continent. It's my home. I would have never said that a few years ago.
I hated it, I hated everything about living there for the longest times.
Because I was alone in a world where I felt misplaced, that's only because I hated God for putting me there so I backed away and made myself isolated.
That's a story for another time though...
Now I want with all my heart and soul to have another chance.
I was so stagnate when I lived there that I never got to breathe or take anything in.
I was just too ashamed to even try to open my heart up, because I had had it torn apart.
Now I miss it. I miss it so much.
Someday though, I will go back, hopefully in a more permanent position than just a trip.

Anyways,

In other news.
I'm not perfect and I can be a complete hypocrite sometimes. The sad thing is that I don't even realize it sometimes.
I could go on about this, but that seems a tad pity partyish, doesn't it?

Ahhhh...

I'm going to go drink something healthy and read some more.

Sunsets and Surprise Parties.

We gave Grady a surprise birthday party at Andrew's house and it was quite the time.
Dollar General has some pretty nifty little nick nacks that worked out very nicely for his presents.
Then we had to Baby Powder the tarp... it was one of the strangest things I've ever done, but sliding around on it was enjoyable.
Now I'm signing up for the ACT (shoot me) and then going to cuddle up and read.
I haven't done that all weekend.
Oh, but this weekend was really great.
I'm so worn out, but I really loved it all...
Tomorrow I get to make a scrap book page for Stephanie... I'm really going to miss her a lot. :(
Things change, but I know it's all for the best.

Benches and Birdhouses

It is so beautiful outside... almost too beautiful for a day in January.

Swirling

I don't know about Fine Arts... whether or not to do photography?
I really don't know all that I want to do, but I only have a few days, so I need to get myself together....

Right now, on this Saturday night, I have the house to myself and I watched a couple movies, now I'm listening to music, later I am going to organize my closet.
It all sounds pretty perfect since I haven't had a night like this in a long time.
I think I'm going to watch Becoming Jane here in a little bit.
I feel so relaxed and peaceful at the moment.
Oh, I really enjoy music. A lot.

:(

I'M SO TIRED.

It's Coming Around Again

Well, today was another day.
Like every other day.
Monotonous.

I'm getting sick of it...

But how can I change the path I've molded myself into?
It's not like I don't love every joyous moment that God blesses me with from day to day, I just don't like how I'm staying in one place.
It's not only me though, it's everyone around me that does the same thing too.
Life feels like a huge cycle with trends, money, war, hate, love.
Everything repeats itself.

All over the Bible, there are stories of different events but have the same purpose and meaning.
Exile after exile.
Did God truly intend our life to be one of monotony?
I truly believe He did not.

Humans just don't like the feeling of being uncomfortable and taking a step out of the cycle.
There are those that do, but then everyone else begins to follow that person and a new circle begins.

A world of circles.

Hmm.

Anyways... I feel like trying something different. Not by skydiving or building a house of marshmallows, but somehow slightly altering the way I let my day go.
I don't want to change myself or my personality, just the way I look at things or treat people.
Something.
So I think I'm going to pray that God will give me a daily lifestyle change.
Definitely not for me, but for Him because I am completely comfortable in my own little woven box.

I need a better, God-like perspective on everything. On school, on friendships, on listening to my parents, on being submissive, on doing what I don't want to do, on everything I face in life.

Just Thinking?

Do you ever have so many thoughts in your head, but you just don't know how to get them into words?
That's me.
Right now.
Right here.
I want to be able to rip apart and explore every single thought in my head, but I just can't.
There's too much in there.

Ugh.