Oh la la la.

I have spent the last few hours looking at recipes online and listening to Christmas music, which is great, but it took so long because of the DANG SLOW COMPUTER. Rawr.
Oh well, now I shall go revise my English paper, then go to bed. I've been a lazy kid today. Which is dumb of me because I have a "to-do" list that just increases in size. Oh bother, I really need some energy and motivation. Along with some coffee.
I hate how I have ideas but no motion to them. I'm pretty sure that's almost a sin... crap.

What am I thankful for?

I'm thankful for people who love me even though I can be a real bum sometimes.

Also, I am very thankful for chocolate...and coffee. Oh, and sleep.

Every time I think something good is going to happen,

Something screws up and I end up screwed over.

I want to cry.

I'm a girl,

And I want romance.
Not just a dozen red roses, romance that doesn't just come from the opposite sex. I want to be able to see the beauty in everything and constantly be captivated. I believe it's possible...hopefully.
I'm just sick of my heart constantly being tormented with the vulgar of this world, it can become so disheartening. Where did beauty go?
It's here, we just choose to cover it. What a shame.

Everything that I've started to write just sounds completely stupid to me. So, instead I shall choose to share lyrics from and incredible band know as mewithoutyou.

Every thought a Thought of You
No more thought, I ought to do...
When there ain't a thing we see
Or touch we trust is true
Every thought a thought of You

Every look in search of You
No need for book when we're with You
You wear a thin disguise,
O, Light within my Brother's eyes!
Every look in search of You

Every song in praise of You
Our darkest nights are days to You
The Trees raise branches high
Like arms in church to grateful Sky,
Every song in praise of You

No one here to believe but You
Everyone else is bound to leave but You
When they swear, their love is real, they mean
I like the way you make me feel
No one here to believe but You
There is no one here to believe but You

Kul-anaya fikr minh ka
Abadan ahatmam enna ajab
Hayya'alal falal qad qamadis alah
Haqq: la illaha il Allah

You know what I hate?

Waiting. I just really, really despise it. Especially when you know you're ready but something, or in this case someone, is making you wait. Simply because they choose not to understand something you are spelling out clearly to them. Hateful.
It just becomes an emotional killer after awhile.
Yet, I set myself up for this pain again and again and again. I really don't know why... Maybe because I see what a beautiful picture it could be if a few details were added and couple mistakes erased. This makes no sense.
I don't want you to hurt me anymore, but I really don't know if I could take it if you weren't there anymore. Please just listen to me... I miss you.