when it rains, it pours.

today my mind has been racing like crazy.
i've just been thinking about so many things...

1. i can't wait to get married.
i know that sounds freaky and weird for me to be thinking that when i have quite a few years before i should even be considering such a thing.
but i can't help but think about it...
finding that one person that you love more than anyone else in the world is the closest we're going to get to understanding God's love for us.
and thats just one drop in the bucket of how much He really loves us.
call me crazy... but i just can't wait.
living with my best friend, all the stinkin time.
yea, i really can't wait.

2. wow. i don't know what to call it.
i guess God has just been giving me signs or pictures lately.
i was sitting at a stop light yesterday and i was at the very front of the row of cars,
and i just stared at the cars passing in front of me.
they were all so different and ever person in them had something going on in their mind.
there were things on their mind that were killing them,
they were stressing,
they were in pain somehow.
i feel like i was looking into their souls for just a glimpse and there was just this eerie feeling that overtook me.
our world is in so much pain...

then i was driving some more that day.
it began to rain, but the sun was still out and it was still bright.
i would end up driving to an area where it wasn't raining, then an area where it was.
i feel like God was trying to tell me something then too.
that i just can't figure out though.
maybe He was saying that even though you go through times where its "raining" in your life, there are always times when you don't.
and all the time you go through these times He's still there shining.

i just don't know though....

then i had another dream about storms this morning.
i don't want a storm to come my way :/
i feel like i just got out of one.

3. people.
how can people change what they believe so quickly?
lose hold of it?
ugh. it drives me crazy.
if you experience something you can't deny it.
so why do you drop it like its hot?
everything you built up is just gone... something they stood for and believe in is just nothing.
i don't freakin get it.

4. happiness vs joy.
i'm not sure if i've hit a new level of joy in my life or if this is just temporary happiness.
whatever it is... i feel good.
i think that i've become a stronger person and i'm learning from my mistakes.
i'm making slight changes in my life and i think they're paying off.
maybe God is just giving me more joy... cause it just feels like its something deeper.
ahh... i love my God.
i have no idea what the crud He's doing half the time, but i love it.
weird? nahh...

there is a lot more on my mind,
but that just sums it up.

now i'm going to read,
fall alseep,
and go to church in the morning.

i love weekends.
(: